That time when I had my boobs done…
October 19, 2018
So I had my boobs done today!!
And not in the wonderful way where you get to look like a glamour model afterward. (I wish)
No, my dear melon sisters, I mean I had my boobs checked in the hospital with a radiologist probing and checking them for lumps.
The reason I found myself lying down half-naked on the examination table, you ask?
That morning, I noticed that a lump that I had found under my arm sometime before had grown and was near enough to my boobs for me to be a bit concerned.
When I first noticed it, I ignored it for a couple of weeks – expecting it to go away on its own but it didn’t.
When I mentioned it to my work colleague (I work in a fertility clinic so we are no stranger to lady-parts), she said rolled her eyes and told me to get my butt to the radiographer.
So off I went.
This is how I found myself lying down in a hospital gown on the table. As if it was not awkward enough that the nurse on duty was someone that I had worked with before, I found out at the last minute that it was going to be a male radiographer performing the scan.
What? A male radiographer? Yes, sisters! A male radiographer.
At that point, I had come too far. My bra was off so I laid down and closed my eyes and waited. I assumed it would be a kindly old grey haired doctor and the procedure would be quick and painless.
To my horror and embarrassment, in walks this young man and to make things worse it seemed that the man was just as embarrassed as I was.
As I lay there wishing to be anywhere else, he was trying his best to be professional but even I could tell that he was new to the job.
To his credit, he tried to keep his eyes averted but still…awkward, cringe and all its synonyms.
Now, if you know me you know I am a little woman with surprisingly big boobs so I was not surprised to see his eyes grow wider when he uncovered “the girls”.
Cue more embarrassment for young doc.
Now to the scan.
Because he was so busy trying to avoid staring at my boobs while simultaneously applying the pre-scan gel, he managed to squirt the gel all over my face.
Just. Kuku. Kill. Me. Now.
Between my howls and his furious dabbing with tissue paper and still trying not to look at my boobs… My sisters, it was not a pretty picture.
Later, when I told my sister all about it she was rolling on the floor with laughter. No sympathy from there…
Me? I was NOT AMUSED.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I did it. I had my breast scan. And even though it was not a terribly wonderful experience, I was glad I got it done.
This is breast cancer awareness month and I want to encourage you to get your girls scanned.
I can’t promise you that the experience will be wonderful but I’m sure it won’t be as “interesting” as mine was.
That aside, the story ends with great news!! The lump was not one of the dangerous ones. The girls are fine and I have a whole year before I get to do it again. (Yay!)
Until next time.